Many parents I know are extremely concerned about their child’s academic development and behavior. Now's a day, some parents whose children is only 2 years old are expecting them to know the letters of the alphabet and read simple words. Others want their child to have perfect manners—not interrupt adults, sit still for longer periods of time, etc. I am not saying whether it's right or wrong to have a certain standard for your kids, like I mention above, every parents only hope for the best out from their kids.... (and our little Gracia is 2 and knows her ABC song, but only because she really enjoy it)
What I trying to say is our expectation and hope for the best for our kids should not overwrite their ability, their passion, their likes and dislike etc.... and become over controlling into their life.
Mr Widjaja, 21, a final-year electrical and electronic engineering student at NTU, fell four storeys to his death at about 10.30am on Mar 2. A text file was titled 'last words' and was found in the laptop belonging to him. In it, the writer lashed out at his family - in particular, his mother. He described her as controlling. And this irked him so much that if his parents were to die, he probably would not cry. He then went on to say that he had had enough of his 'miserable life', having lived most of it 'in sorrow and suffering'.
This is what he wrote
'I live in a not normal family. My mother likes to control everything in my life (and also my brother and father),' he wrote.
'But even now, she still treats me as a child and somehow that irritates me.'
The writer described his father as a 'very kind person' who never complained or blamed others although their financial situation was not good.
'But too bad my mother often pressurises him, which often causes quarrel between them,' he wrote.
'Do you know how it feels to watch your own family shouting at each other almost every day when you were still a child?'
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A parents' concern about their children's future success can sometimes be a bit unrealistic. These may be well-meaning people who become anxious about their children having successful adult lives. Does the shaky state of our economy increase parents' anxieties about their kids' futures? Whatever the reason, something like the David Widjaja case for instance should let us think twice.
As For me, the present of my daughter is really good enough. Believe it or not, I really have no expectation whatsoever from her, though if she will do good and perform well in life, that will be a great bonus... but most importantly, i only want to love her and hope she love me as much. Below is a poem i like to share with all parents in the world
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
