The Best For Your Child???

Every Parents want the best for their child. But "To Give The Best For Ones Child" could be a very subjective statement. How could we really define what is really best for our child? Top education? Good behavior? Good habits?

Many parents I know are extremely concerned about their child’s academic development and behavior. Now's a day, some parents whose children is only 2 years old are expecting them to know the letters of the alphabet and read simple words. Others want their child to have perfect manners—not interrupt adults, sit still for longer periods of time, etc. I am not saying whether it's right or wrong to have a certain standard for your kids, like I mention above, every parents only hope for the best out from their kids.... (and our little Gracia is 2 and knows her ABC song, but only because she really enjoy it)

What I trying to say is our expectation and hope for the best for our kids should not overwrite their ability, their passion, their likes and dislike etc.... and become over controlling into their life.

Mr Widjaja, 21, a final-year electrical and electronic engineering student at NTU, fell four storeys to his death at about 10.30am on Mar 2. A text file was titled 'last words' and was found in the laptop belonging to him. In it, the writer lashed out at his family - in particular, his mother. He described her as controlling. And this irked him so much that if his parents were to die, he probably would not cry. He then went on to say that he had had enough of his 'miserable life', having lived most of it 'in sorrow and suffering'.

This is what he wrote

'I live in a not normal family. My mother likes to control everything in my life (and also my brother and father),' he wrote.

'But even now, she still treats me as a child and somehow that irritates me.'

The writer described his father as a 'very kind person' who never complained or blamed others although their financial situation was not good.

'But too bad my mother often pressurises him, which often causes quarrel between them,' he wrote.

'Do you know how it feels to watch your own family shouting at each other almost every day when you were still a child?'

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A parents' concern about their children's future success can sometimes be a bit unrealistic. These may be well-meaning people who become anxious about their children having successful adult lives. Does the shaky state of our economy increase parents' anxieties about their kids' futures? Whatever the reason, something like the David Widjaja case for instance should let us think twice.

As For me, the present of my daughter is really good enough. Believe it or not, I really have no expectation whatsoever from her, though if she will do good and perform well in life, that will be a great bonus... but most importantly, i only want to love her and hope she love me as much. Below is a poem i like to share with all parents in the world




Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Toddlers are notoriously headstrong and their favorite word is “no”. Time to get dressed. No! Time to take your shower. No! Stop playing with the food. No! Take those peas out of your nose. No! No! No!

We had our fair share of NOs from our little Gracia ever since she learn this word from 'dunno who', me or mummy? Anyway, we had been dealing with her "no" more often lately during her brushing teeth session. Every time mummy raise the issue of brushing her teeth, she will automatically say "no!I dun wanna brush teeth". We had used a couple of method to encourage her like using her fav soft toy (oscar fish) as a leading example. Sometime daddy used fear factor by telling her that if she don't brush her teeth, incy wincy spider will come and bite them because they are so dirty and spider like dirty things, but Lina restrian me to used fear factor too often worrying that she might have a phobia for spider in the future.

Now we realize that she is two. She’s trying to establish her own routines and exert her own opinions. The problem is, she’s two. She does’t understand why she needs to brush her teeth no matter how many times we may explain it to her. So our brilliant mummy bought a Elmo book showing Elmo brushing teeth and enjoying it, and here it goes (monkey see monkey do).

She is an absolute doll! I completely understand why Lina being paranoid about her teeth. My girls front tooth was decaying before we get really tough with brushing it.
Don't know what the cause really is, maybe it was breastfeed on demand at night. Whatever it is, we are glad we are starting to prevent her teeth from decaying even more. And most probably we will find a pediatric dentist for a assessment evaluation for her tooth one of this day.

Some of the content inside the book

The coming of T2

T2 for:
Terminator 2?
Terminal 2 of Changi airport?
Nop nop nop..... Its the terrible 2.

You’ll have to excuse us if we sounds worry or fear. Like most parent, we do not want to raise a brat or a holy terror screaming and yelling at the top of her voice for demanding what she wants. Although I may be overstating to label my little Gracia as a brat (she is so far a very obedient child), but what she did a few days ago truly gave me and my wife a wake up call and that we might not be so lucky as to escape her terrible twos.

Characterized by her being negative about certain things recently has been more obvious and she often like to say 'no', we try to believe she isn't trying to be defiant or rebellious on purpose but is just trying to express her growing independence and doesn't have the language skills to easily express her needs.
God’s grace, please give us the strength and to always be calm and patient when handling our little Gracia with her tantrum. We know she’s growing up and is always testing her limit each day which sometime beyond our imagination. Lets us be reminded we are in control of the situation and as a family we will always be united.
What happened?
Gracia just finished a bottle of drink and I gently asked her to throw the empty bottle into the rubbish bin, which she usually will abide with, but not that day. We were surprised that she say ‘no’ but was not too bothered because she sometimes say ‘no’ but after some persuasion, she’ll comply. Then we were even more surprised when after some persuasion, she not only refused to throw the bottle, she started to yelled and was kicking a fuse and even throw the bottle at me. Gosh! That’s about it, me and my wife look at each other and said, it’s about time. It’s about time we need to brush up on how to handle her terrible twos. She finally save the day when she wanted mummy’s milk milk and Lina took that opportunity to ask her to throw the bottle if she wanted it and that’s when she finally did. …… Ya, we are fastening our seat belt for a different ride from now.

To spank or not to spank?

In respond to the news on Newpaper on the 8th Noverber 08. .A step father who caned his son for more about 100 strokes using two rattan canes tied together. The boy's injuries were so serious that he had to be warded in hospital for eight days. On Wednesday, the 39-year-old stepfather was jailed nine months for child abuse. The judge also ordered him to undergo counselling in prison.

Times are changing folks, that for sure. No longer is a parent allowed to spank his or her own child for doing something bad. Instead, we send him or her to “timeout” to think about what they did and how they have wronged.

After reading Pastor Barry W. Barnett case, i think
in these politically correct times, the question is, "To spank or not to spank"? When child discipline has moved increasingly out of the home and into courtrooms and legislative assemblies. Take for instance The Pastor Case.

One local newspaper pointed out that spanking has never really gone away, despite studies showing that it might do more harm than good. Researcher also found that spanking was linked to a wide range of negative outcomes in children, such as aggression, mental-health problems and criminal behavior later in life.

Spanking to me is effective only in the short term, and parents who did that often inadvertently abuse their own children. Those who support the use of physical force on tykes often cite their own childhood experience of beating. They argue that it toughened them and served to build character.

Still, government intervention is sometime hit-and-miss, and can backfire down the line. A more sensible option, rather than an across-the board ban, is to try to educate parent well. I suggest free, mandatory-parenting classes for pregnant couples, for example. I don't believe in using physical force when it comes to discipline my own kids. My mum used the cane often when I was growing up, and it only made me resentful and more rebellious.

I will make it a point to reason with my daughter when she grows up, and to explain the consequences of specific action. But when there is an immediate danger, or she is tired or hysterical(because my wife says i can be very speechy on philosophy sometime), a tiny slap on the wrist or on her well-padded diapered bottom is as far as I will go.

Lucky Gracia.

How i manage my anger?

First of all, I have to admit I am not born to be such a cool, even-tempered fellow. In fact, I used to be more violent and aggressive when I am younger, during my teenage years especially. But after I got married, esp. after I become a father, I decided to make an effort to change for the benefit of everyone.

Before I start the version on my own parenting mindset, and why I am less irritated when little Gracia doesn't cooperate, let me share a story I had told Lina a couple of time whenever she starts to get angry with Gracia:

Once upon a time, there was a master name Zhu keliang. He is a man of great wisdom, a philosopher and a mentor for many generals and emperor in his time. While he love analyzing strategic war arrangement and calculate mobility steps to win a war, he has a personal passion for flower and plants. One day, he is about to leave his mansion for a couple of weeks to discuss some very important issue for the country. Before he left, he had summon his housekeeper Kong to carefully look after his garden esp a plant he particularly favor. He reminded Kong three times how to manage the plant in the most attentive way he used to do when he's around. After Master Zhu left his mansion, Kong did what master Zhu asked him to do and religiously water the plant and bring out the plant under the sun. One day, Kong carelessly smashed and broke the plant master zhu favor the most. He cried and cried and cried, worrying that master zhu will surely punish him for his crime. When master zhu returned from his assignment, Kong reviewed to him the truth. Below is the conversation between master and Kong:

Kong: Master Zhu, Kong deserve punishment, your most favorite plant is gone. (Assuming that master Zhu will react angrily on him)

Master Zhu: Oh, what happen to it? (Ask in a calm tone)

Kong: I accidentally lost control of the pot and smashed it while bringing out for the sun to shine.

Master Zhu: Oh, it's ok. I will just plant another same one again. (Again with a calm tone)

Kong: Master, aren't you upset or angry with me?

Master Zhu: Why must I?

Kong: Because I smashed your fav plant.

Master Zhu: Look Kong, do you know my first intention why I started this plant? (Smile when asking)

Kong: I am not very sure master.

Master: I grew it because I have a special liken on its fragrance and color. Whenever I see it, it makes my day and I just love it so much.

Kong: (scratching his head) For such reason master, I thought you should even be angrier?

Master: Listen Kong. There is birth, there will be death. There is unity, there will be separation. There is victory, there will be defeat. There is love and there is hate.... there's a season for everything under the sun. I grow this plant because I have passion on it and it makes me happy, you see that Kong, I say it makes me happy. You must know that it's the primary reason why I choose this plant, I didn't grow this plant and wait for it to weed and get upset, nor I want to grew this plant knowing it possibly would be eaten by some insect like caterpillar and get very angry with the insect and kill all of them? This plant is supposed to make me happy, not sad, and not angry, not disappointment or such. Remember Kong, what ever you want in life, whether it's a relationship, or if you thinking of becoming a warrior, or perhaps you want to be a father, always remember the primary reason why choose this path. In a relationship, you probably want love not hate. To be a warrior to fight a war, you probably want the joy of victory not the misery of defeat, and to be a father you surely want to have a unconditional love for your child instead of getting frustrated, upset and disappointment when your child disobey you. Always look back on why you started a journey and don't be too caught up by rains and thunders that will erase away your passion, love and affection. For now, I will only have good memories on how the plant used to make me happy and perhaps start another similar one. (HAHAHAHaha ... laugh master Zhu)

Above is a fictional story I always tell my wife whenever she get emotional. I will always ask her, "In the first place, why do you want to start this thing?" Unless you really look forward to disappointment, depression or dismal. If not, always go back to why you first started it. Ok, enough of this story .... Lets get back to my personal parenting mindset.

I would like to categorise my parenting mindset in 3 points:

Point one: I am not a fans of any doctor, pediatrician, parents, child expect or organization like Montessori’s etc, below is my conclusion.
To me, raising children is not like assembling a home theater system or preparing a dish, such that you need only follow an expert's instruction on a manual or recipe. No one-size-fits-all formula can possibly work for every family, nor can it anticipate an infinite number of situation （家家有本难念的经）. However, I had seen and know many parents desperately seeking a miracle solution that they think will help solve their parenting problems thru books, resources from the internet and information they gather from other parents. While I don't totally disregard knowledge from a child experts or a more experience parent, (because a lot of my knowledge I gained are of the same way) but I’ll only take it with a pinch of salt and take it like a appetizer instead of having it like a main course. Deep down many parents realize there is no one way to parent a child, yet they constantly try out methods from books or from a suggestion thru another parent (usually a friend) and start to question themselves why it works for other but not my child, and usually it leads to letdown and disappointment before frustration starts to burn them.

Point Two: I not only believe, but I live by this words " Imperfection world". And from it, I have greater allowance and tolerance towards failure, injustice or unfairness. Although i have hopes for my daughter, i don't expect my life as a father to be a bed of roses. Below are my conclusions.
Although many parents consciously know there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child, they continue to compare themselves to other parents or someone they consider having "perfect parenting standard." This standard is the primary, underlying force that creates a state of imbalance for contemporary parents who struggle with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and frustration.
Parents who I described earlier will usually reach the point where they say " I-Can't-Stand-It-Anymore". This irrational belief that leads to such statement as "I cant's stand your irresponsible behavior" or "I can't stand things turning out this way" normally will creates feeling of anger, depression, and anxiety. A parent who can’t's stand a child irresponsible behavior is not allowing that child to fail. And like it or not, failing is part of an imperfect world (which I constantly remind my wife we're living in a imperfect world). In fact, failing is necessary part of learning. Learning by failing is as important as learning by doing.
I will give you an example, (my wife will always ask me for an example every time we have a dispute). If a child is learning walking and the parent who's afraid she will fall are always there to catch the child or assist her as she takes those first step, the child cannot successfully achieve that milestone in her life. She would come to expect her parent to always be there for her. And i would like to add that, tantrum is only the beginning what your child will fail you and the worst is yet to come. Unless you think your child is a saint, if not, be prepared he will fail you, and he will fail you many many time in your life time as a parent. I will list a number of possibilities what a child will probably fail in their life time.

Child possible failing list:
1.Tantrum (Toddler Period)
2.uncooperative (They will grow older and might have their own preference and will refuse to cooperate what you say or offer, like food they eat or clothes they wear or a TV program they like to watch etc)
3.Lazy or uninterested (this can include multitude of area, like studies, self hygiene, house chore etc)
4.Rebellious (most probably will happen during teenage years, what they will fail you will be drugs, sex, gamble and anything vice.)
5.Uncommitted (refuse to get married, get a job or involve in family activities)
6.Shame (become a criminal, prostitute or a addict)
7.Unfilial (after painstakingly raise them up into adult, they desert you, cheat all your money and put you in an old folks home)

These are just a few possible things that your child might fail you, and if you can't take their tantrum. I don't know what will happen to you if the more damaging encounter happen to you. So my advice is, expect the unexpected and count the blessing instead of the curse.

My last point: I know Mr. angry. I have dine with him, seen him face to face and used to invite him to my life for a party of destruction, now I already divorce him but I can still remember vividly the impact of it. Below is my conclusion on anger.

Apart from making everyone unhappy, anger produces several very negative outcomes.
1.Anger begets anger
2.Anger reduces your ability to think logically.
3.Parent's anger give attention to a misbehave child. (If you get angry every time your child misbehavior, he will know what to do the next time he wants attention from you.)
4.Anger aftermath makes parents feel guilty and bad. (Aren't you?)

I used to throw and smashed things around my house when I am angry, by the end of the day, not only the problem that made me angry is not solved. I left myself with more things to tidy up and regret, guilt and shame then mock at me.
Anger is also the most common pitfalls of many parents. I think all parents should recognize and deal with it because almost without fail, it has very negative result. The most serious negative consequence of anger is that it undermines a most critical lesson that parent must teach their children: That’s how to manage their own emotion.

So my final conclusion is this, if you read a lot of child behaviorist books, taught and shared with your child what are the right things to do and whets not and imply good habits on them but still get angry when she turned you upside down. You should start parenting on yourself, not your child. Remember this, no matter how frequently children are told not to be angry, nothing outweighs showing them how to really manage conflict without anger you. I had written it above and I am going to say it again: "Action speaks louder than words".

The above entry is recorded for the benefit of myself, my family and my love ones only. Everything is base on my personal point of view and perspective. I am not an expect and have no intention to correct, change or implement any parenting knowledge or ideas on anyone. Like I had said, there's no one-size-fit-all parenting method for every parents. However, if you think my ideological on parenting may be of little help for you. You can use it as a reference. Just treat it like appetizer but not the main course; perhaps you have something on your own that is more useful, more practical and more profitable for you and your child.

Happy Parenting!

Parenting? Start with yourself.

I am inspired to write on this after going thru much experience myself when raising my own child. I had also read quite a numbers of parenting related books and have my fair share of debating, sharing, agreeing and dispute with my wife on this matter. We don't always agree with one another but we're husband and wife and we work things out together as a family. That's how we grow and developed kinship even deeper.

Today I want to talk about parenting in a different point of view, perhaps in a different point of view within my own perspective. You see, in the pasted, I used to have the concept that parenting is something I need to do to raise an obedient child. A child with good behavior and habits, a child that do not create havoc and having tantrum whenever she did not get what she wants. And to do that, we read on parenting books, have discussion and implement ideas that we read in the hope that our daughter will benefit on it, the idea of parenting I used to have is to correct her, change her and maybe scold her if necessary.

And like most parent, if things do not turn out the way we want her to be, like when she's having constant tantrum, moving around too actively when we ask not to, crying and screaming when she is denied of something > we'll lose our cool and perhaps rise our voice on some occasions. Well, that's exactly what I am going to emphasize today on losing our cool and getting emotionally frustrated and anguish.

If you read carefully the title on this topic today, I wrote "Parenting? Starts with yourself." Recently my wife had lost a bit of her cool when Gracia did not want to cooperate with her, in the end, she got her buttock smacked from mummy. For your record, Lina is usually, in fact most of the time very loving, extremely caring and careful on how to bring up and raise our daughter. She read more than me, do a lot of researched and surfed the web widely for anything relating to parenting. From baby diet to nurturing behavior etc, all in all, she's one of the most committed and sacrificial mum I ever know of. But there's a problem lies within, the problem on focusing too much on Gracia but not herself. Like most parents, when Lina get all the knowledge and information she need to know on parenting, whether it's from books, internet or from friends. She'll try to implement on it. When the result turns out to be what she expected, everyone will be happy, including me. Unfortunately, esp on parenting, we all know it's easier said than done. And if things don’t turn out the way it should be, perhaps even much worst than your expectation and your child had really pushed your limits. You lose your cool, start to raised your voice, and to a certain degreed, you might even lay your fingers or hand on your misbehavior’s child. I say, that is disastrous.

I told my wife, you'd already given so much to your child. You'd come so far, influenced her from young, taught her good habits, always sharing with her what is the right thing to do and what's not. Hoping that she'll managed her emotion properly when she do not get what she wants... but in the end, if for the same reason, that you did not get the things that you want, you snapped. That’s the worst thing you want to do. All your effort might flow to the drain I say. One adage saying is, "Action speaks louder than words". If you do not practice what you preach, then you're not setting good example for your baby to follow. When she sees that you'll get angry when things doesn't go your way, or you'll raised your voice to get things done, even worst is to know that you'll used physical exploitation as your last resort to show your intensity of dissatisfaction > what positive parenting do you want to imply to your child. No amount of books, researched and information you gather will be of used if you do not start controlling yourself of your emotion esp.

To all parents, mother and father alike, the first step to parenting is to start from yourself. Tell yourself today; no amount of tantrum, no amount of crying and weeping and no amount of annoyance will let you lose your handsome and pretty cool again. To be honest, and I am proud to say that loud. So far, after 16 months of being a father myself, I haven't really lost my cool. Really, and I don't even have to tolerate myself to reach that level. All becos, I believe I have a different kind of mindset on parenting. It's getting late now and I am tired, maybe I’ll share again next time on how I see and feel on parenting in a way that I can manage my emotional more positively.

Written by:

The loving side of gangsterdad

What prompted me to post this about gangsterdad is because as a wife to gangsterdad, I am truly touched by his gesture. Before my memory fails me, I think I had better pen it down and let it serve as a lovely memory between us when we grow old. Among my women friends, I feel extremely loved by my husband because he is one such man who will buy clothes for his wife (tat's me!!) hehe. Honestly which woman wouldnt be touched by such a simple gesture from her husband? And its funny that whatever dress or shirt he buys for me, I'll always find it nicer n more attractive than those bought by myself! Please do not think that I do not have my own taste in styling myself but rather, I would like to put it this way- women love to please their husband. Everytime I wear something bought by gangsterdad, he will find it unusually different and beautiful. I would like to say, thank you my dear.. ur truly one in a million. Posted by Lina


Image: Gangsterdad bought this for me last Saturday on his own birthday, he say it'll be more meaningful that way.




Image: And this one on my birthday.

Gracia Having Tantrum

Since Lina started work, I get more chances to be really up close and personal with Gracia. And I am starting to experience her tantrum first hand. It sort of worried me and I am quite confused how to handle her. It all started yesterday, when I brought her out with me to work, I thought the journey was short and she might be happy to be out. In deed she was quite happy at first, and she sat quietly in the baby car seat for at least 20 mins. Soon after that, most probably she got bored and wanted to get out of her seat and started making sound. I told her “No” but she won’t listen. She just screamed and cried her lung out and wanted me to release her from her seat. Eventually, I surrendered and brought her out for a while.




When I tried to put her back again on the car seats, guess what? Little Gracia suddenly become a snake. She just twisted and turned her body and resisted so forcefully like a phantom just to avoid getting back into the seat. I ended up bringing her out again and thought of getting something as a negotiation tool to coax her back to her seat. But my idea turned into smoke when she refused to let me bride her with anything at all, and there's no other way i could possibly persuade her back to her seat again.

I have no choice and I did the unpredictable. Put her on my laps and drive, risking being caught by TP and risking both our safety. How I managed to drive her back I leave it all for your imagination.

I just wanna say that, she has grown up. She knows what she wants and she will do whatever it takes to get it> TANTRUM

I used to thought i should be able to handle tantrum steadily, but i guess i have underestimated the intensity and it prowess.It's time I should prepare myself and start reading how to cope tantrum now and brush up my knowledge of it.

Father and daughter

In my personal opinion, this is the best picture I have seen my husband in. He looks relax and confident in it. Several years ago, we were dating as a couple then we entered into marriage life. Life didnt change much for the both of us till then. Yes, we had our own home and life was basically just "you n me". A year plus ago, Gracia was born. Entering into parenthood was not an easy one. However, I am very proud to say my husband had done all things truly well till now though occasionally we still do things which annoy each other. In the recent years, his confidence has grown, his spirit is stronger, he's clear about what he wants in life and still having a zest for life! I would like to say, "thank you my dear" for pruning our home sweet home everyday. If life is a garden, I would say he's one of the best gardeners on earth. : )
Posted by Lina

Understanding Child's Symptom.

Free Online Dictionary
Knowing how to recognize when your child is seriously sick and needs medical attention is important, both to get your child help when he needs it and to prevent unnecessary visits to the doctor or emergency room. I learnt this lesson and paid $80 without any medicines prescribe from the pediatrician. No I am not complaining, we are both first time parent and it is natural for us to get worried if we noticed anything unusual for our baby. But if we’re more informed and knowledgeable about the symptom occurring them, maybe we might have saved time, money and possibly the ordeal our daughter have to go thru letting her pediatrician examine her.

Most parents call their Pediatrician when their child has a fever, however, it is important to keep in mind that a fever is not the only sign of a serious illness. Whether or not your child has a fever, if he is very irritable, confused, lethargic (doesn't easily wake up), has difficulty breathing, has a rapid and weak pulse, is refusing to eat or drink, is still ill-appearing even after the fever is brought down , has a severe headache or other specific complaint (burning with urination, ear pain, if he is limping, etc.), or if he has a fever and it is persistent for more than 24 to 48 hours, then you should call your pediatrician or seek medical attention immediately.
Fever is not a disease, instead, it is a symptom that can accompany many childhood illnesses, especially infections. In general, you should call your pediatrician if your infant under three months of age has a rectal temperature at or above 100.4F or 38c. if your infant aged 3-6 months has a temperature above 38.3c, or if an infant above 6 months has a temperature above 39.5c.
For most older children, it is not so much the number, but rather how your child is acting that is concerning. If your older child is alert, active and playful, is not having difficulty breathing, and is eating and sleeping well, or if the temperature comes down quickly with home treatments (and he is feeling well), then you don't necessarily need to call your doctor immediately.

Unless your child are having other symptoms stated below:

Vomiting
Vomiting typically accompanies diarrhea as part of an acute gastroenteritis or stomach virus in kids. It is usually not concerning if your child has only vomited a few times, is keeping small amounts of fluids down, doesn't have significant abdominal pain and is not dehydrated.
You should seek medical attention for vomiting if your child is getting dehydrated (urinating less often, dry mouth, weight loss, etc.), is vomiting dark green bile (bilious vomiting is a sign of an intestinal obstruction), is a newborn or young infant with projectile vomiting (pyloric stenosis), or if he has a severe headache or abdominal pain. Vomiting is especially concerning if it begins after your child already has abdominal pain, which often happens in children with appendicitis.

Coughing
A cough and runny nose occur commonly in children with colds. If your child is otherwise feeling well, then you don't necessarily need to go to the doctor every time your child has a cold, even if he has a green runny nose. You should see the doctor if your child's cold symptoms continue to worsen after 3-5 days, if they aren't improving in 10-14 days, or if he has another specific complaint, such as ear pain or trouble breathing.

Trouble Breathing
While children often have a cough and sometimes a wheeze when they have a viral upper respiratory tract infection, if your child is having difficulty breathing, then you should call your doctor. You can usually recognize that your child is having trouble breathing if he is breathing fast and hard, if you can see his ribs moving in and out (retractions), or if it seems like he can't catch his breath.

Dehydration
Children most commonly get dehydrated when they have diarrhea and vomiting, from ongoing losses of fluid, but it is also possible to get dehydrated if your child just isn't drinking well. The first sign of dehydration is that your child will urinate less frequently (your child should be urinating every six to eight hours). Other signs include a dry mouth, not having tears when crying, sunken eyes, and decreased activity or increased irritability.

Working Mum Vs Stay At Home Mum

Oh wow what an amazing discussion about working mothers v's career mothers during 7/05/08 on FM100.3>>>
There is always a battle over making decision like this. This can be controversial. Well, obviously both types of mothers have to work very hard, that's for sure! So who's lifestyle is the easiest of the two? That's hard to say. Although i am a dad instead of the mum, it has been a hard time for me letting my wife stay at home without bringing extra income to support the family financially together with me, but if i let my wife go to work, my worries will turn to the development of our daughter not to mention that her bonding with her might also be affected.

Some listener point out that research has demonstrated that the early relationship between infants and preschoolers is the foundation of all subsequent personality development.Thus they deciced to stay at home and nurture their baby by thier own.
But is there really evidence to support that statement, because we know that there are children who are in quality day care whom have increases in cognitive skills, intellect, social skills and social comfort. So again this can be controversial.

I have never been one way or another - Because I thought that we have to fight for the right of choice and should not be made feel guilty for the choice we made.

Easier said than done, - We manage to feel guilty about everything we do. From doing enough or too less, if we say the wrong thing, give too much advice, spend some time on our own projects or hobbies, neglect the housework, neglect the child, not being able to support financially for the family, not being a good wife, husband, in-law, father or mother etc etc etc the opportunities for feeling guilty are endless.
After listening to the discussion aired on the radio, i noticed there is a obvious split between the two groups. Each have their valid points and views,I wouldn't say that either one is better or harder than the other.

My final conclusion is, i am not so sure about others, but we are definitely a pair of happy parent feeling delight seeing our daughter growing and becoming a happy baby. Not only we felt she's growing happy, but we are satisfy with her over all development. Her physical growth( my wife BF her for 11 months and is still feeding), her way of communcating with us ( we teach her sign laungage), and to be able to witness her first sitting, first crawling and perhap her first walking soon is truely amazing. All this wouldn't be suceeded if my wife choose to work. All i can say is, we are both glad to made the choice to stay at home.

Salute to all Mother whom breastfeed more than 6 months.

A National Breastfeeding Survey conducted by the Health Promotion Board (HPB) in 2001 showed that the 95% of mothers attempted to breastfeed, which was 30% higher than that in 1980.





The survey found that about 95% of the mothers surveyed attempted breastfeeding as compared to 65% in 1980. The most important reason for initiating breastfeeding, cited by 84% of these mothers, was that breast milk was healthier for their babies. Of the minority who made no attempts to breastfeed their babies, the most important reason cited by them was that they did not see the need to breastfeed.The mean duration of breastfeeding was 13 weeks. The prevalence of breastfeeding was about 72% at 1 month with 50% continuing to do so at 2 months. But the prevalence rate dropped to 21% by the time the babies were 6 months old. The working status of mothers did not have a significant impact on the initiation of breastfeeding although it did have a significant impact on the breastfeeding duration. About 26% of non-working mothers breastfed for up to 6 months as compared to 18% of working mothers.



The factors that contributed to working mothers stopping breastfeeding between 2 and 6 months were due to work-related factors (such as the need to return to work, facilities at the workplace not being conducive for breastfeeding and the demands of work interfering with breastfeeding), insufficient breast milk and baby preferring formula milk.

The factors cited by non-working mothers stopping breastfeeding between 2 and 6 months were insufficient breast milk , baby preferring formula milk and lack of help with the care of baby, other children or household chores.

The Survey also showed that exclusive breastfeeding is not a common practice in Singapore. For most mothers, breastfeeding was combined with supplementary feeds of powdered milk. Only 14% of the 2 months old babies were breastfed exclusively. By 6 months, less than 1% of the babies were breastfed exclusively. According to a publication by WHO in 1996, the exclusive breastfeeding rate under 4 months of age is 49%; in the South East Asia region, and 34% in the Americas. ( So I want to tell my Gracia how lucky you are ) IT"S been more than 9 months and your mummy still BF you exclusively.

Breastfeeding has been proven in many studies to confer numerous benefits on both baby and mother. It has clear benefits for the general health of infants while reducing their risk for a large number of diseases such as gastrointestinal and respiratory infections, diabetes mellitus and lymphoma. Breastfeeding has also been related to the enhancement of cognitive development and educational ability in toddlers and children of preschool ages.

For the mothers, breastfeeding has been associated with reduced risk of ovarian cancer and breast cancer in pre-menopausal women. The short-term benefits to the mother include rapid return to normal weight and a delayed resumption of ovulation leading to increased child spacing.

The World Health Organisation recommends that babies should be breastfed exclusively for 6 months to confer the maximum benefit of breastfeeding on both mother and child. In line with this recommendation, HPB recommends that infants should be breastfed exclusively for 6 months for optimum infant and maternal health.

Thanks my wife for her determination and will do BF our daughter for so long. I salute you>>>